elvum

Waking up with only a mild hangover from gaspodog's stag do the night before, I perambulated trammishly towards central croydon and the beautiful sixties pile of concrete that is the Croydon Register Office. Arriving fifteen minutes early, I made my way towards a hat in the nearby gardens that turned out to have a stagknight supporting it. Eventually gaspodog and shuripentu arrived, and we went in. After some faff and paperwork, the ceremony began.

The Superintendent Registrar was quite possibly the coolest guy working for Croydon Council, despite taking about seven attempts to get shuripentu's chosen name right. He subsequently redeemed himself by saying things like "you may now give the bride a short kiss". Obviously you can't waste time smooching when they've got another happy couple due in fifteen. After the ceremony they replaced the register with a fake register and the signing pen with a fake signing pen and allowed me to take photos of them pretending to sign it. Then we went to the Clocktower Cafe for tea, and then to Nando's for a sumptuous wedding banquet. (I had a double chicken burger and sweetcorn.) So long as you don't mind your bubbly being Coke and not Champagne, you really can't beat them for value...

As an artistic challenge, in keeping with the minimalist theme of the not-a-wedding, I determined to photograph it in precisely four photos. This was subsequently increased to five by bridal fiat. The photos have now been made private at shuripentu's request.